CARTOONS
Spongebob
SB: This isn’t your regular old darkness…this is advanced darkness.
SB: It’s not just a boulder. It’s a rock!
Krabs: It’s not the end of the world, lad.
SB: Yes it is!
Squidward: That isn’t art, it’s just annoying!
Fairly Odd Parents
Wanda: Adult humans can’t just point and click their way to a better job, it just doesn’t work that way.
Cosmo: Yeah, and we all know college doesn’t work either.
Cosmo: Well, you lived a good life, right?
Timmy: I’m only ten!
Cosmo: I said good, not long.
Wanda: We’re fairies, not psychics.
Cosmo: Yeah, I can’t even read my own mind…..Nope, still nothing!
Cosmo: Look at me! I’m seaworthy! Look at the size of my poopdeck!
Simpsons
Homer: My pockets hurt.
Apu: I cannot believe you won’t shut up!
Marge: Haven’t you ever noticed that John seems rather…festive?
Lovejoy: …it doesn’t matter whether your Catholic, Protestant or miscellaneous.
Apu: It’s Hindu, and there are 40 million of us.
Lovejoy: Well that’s just super.
Ralph: Hi, Lisa! Hi, Principal Skinner! Hi, Supernitendo Chalmers!
Homer: D’oh!
Marge: A deer!
Lisa: A female deer!
Homer: Geez, I can’t believe he actually wrote ‘diddly’!
Marge: Well that was thoughtful.
Marge:…Playboy magazine, condoms, fireworks…I don’t know what you have in mind for tonight, Homer, but count me out!
Family Guy
Brian: Hey, whose leg do I have to hump to get a dry martini around here?
Brian: She’s an annoying little runt isn’t she?
Lois:
Brian: What? I said runt.
Futurama
Professor: My goodness, Bender, you’re filthy!
Bender: Yeah, like your head isn’t full of crap!
MOVIES
X-Men
Cyclops: Wait, how do we know it’s you?
Wolverine: You’re a dick.
Cyclops: Okay.
Rogue: Where am I supposed to go?
Wolverine: Don’t know.
Rogue: Don’t know or don’t care?
Wolverine: Pick one!
Wolverine: You actually go out in public in these suits?
Cyclops: Would you prefer yellow spandex?
Wolverine: Go ahead, read my mind.
Jean Grey: I don’t think so.
Wolverine: Why not? Afraid you might like it?
Wolverine: It certainly is a big round room.
MIB
J: When do I get one of them flashy thingys?
K: Not until you grow up.
K: No ma’m we’re from the FBI, we don’t have a sense of humor that we are aware of.
J: Captain America here—the best of the best of the best, sir, with honors! He’s just so excited and he has no idea why we’re all here. heh-heh That just struck me as funny…y’all ain’t laughing though.
J: You do know that Elvis is dead, right?
K: He’s not dead, he just went home.