Poems by Larry Tilander

After All | A Tale of Two Hobos | Can I Love You Anyway | She Grinds On | Fears | Souls | Cycles | Numbers | The Last Rose | The Hound of Basketville | Your Town | Guaffle | This Wall | Dad I | Summer to the Fields | Sun Sonnet | Lament | Dancing on the Wire | Farewell To A Son | Runaway |

After All

 After all of your shoes have been worn out
 When you never will walk any more
 You can't see who's standing before you
 Every muscle and joint is so sore
 When your memory is fuzzy and hectic
 When the drugs take your feeling away
 You just mumble and groan when you're talking
 Doesn't matter, there's not much to say
 When you lay down to never arising
 Then your senses are not what you use
 You are asking yourself in a small voice
 "Did I win at this game? Did I lose?"
 Some will find that their yardstick was money
 Some will think how they doted on fame
 There are those who put faith in religion
 Some obsessed with a good family name
 When you're waiting so still on the platform
 For the express to Heaven above
 You then realise that was redundant
 The true question, "Did I have love?"
 For it's love that's the ticket, the fuel
 It is love truly calms all the fears
 It is love that can answer the questions
 It is love that can dry all the tears
 Without love then a life has no meaning
 For it's love makes the smallest life great
 Do you have enough love for the long climb
 With too little that slide is your fate
 After all of your years have been counted
 Be they many, or just one or two
 There's a time when the only thing you know
 Is if there's love coming to you



 A Tale of Two Hobos

 He was out in the garbage in back of the restaurant, at first I mistook him for dead
 A bundle of rags in a sour reek of whisky, a great gaping wound in his head
 I bent down to see if he might have some money, he'd no use for none, anyway
 As I rolled him over to search in his trousers I heard that old dead hobo say

 Dear Lord can you hear me, and please would you listen
 I left her alone God she loved me so well
 But I loved the bottle and I drowned my ambitions
 Now it's all over and I'm going to Hell

 I ran in the arcade and I filched me a quarter from the jar for the C.N.I.B.
 I called up the station and I talked to the sergeant, he said, go and wait there for me
 On the way to the alley I scooped up an apple from a stand they was dragging outside
 As I sat on the step by the door to the restaurant again that poor old fella cried

 Dear Lord can you hear me, and please would you listen
 I left her alone God she loved me so well
 But I loved the bottle and I drowned my ambitions
 Now it's all over and I'm going to Hell

 I got thinking of Norma, the way that I left her, the way that she begged me to stay
 I thought about dying alone in an alley, then I threw my bottle away
 I thought of the things like punch clocks and payments that scared me to where I am now
 Then thought more on Norma, her pies, and her kisses, and thought I'd go back anyhow

 The red lights was flashing, the sirens was wailing, and cops, they was running around
 The coroner came and he drew with his chalk, and he outlined the bum on the ground
 Detective came over and he asked for a statement, I told him what that fellow'd said
 He said I was dreaming, the body was cold, it was hours that stiff had been dead

 Dear lord can you hear me, and please would you listen
 I left her alone, God, it was a mistake
 I'm leaving the bottle, I want to go home now
 Please Lord could you give me a break
 And God could you help me, and maybe remind me
 If ever I should start to stray
 I don't want to die all alone in an alley
 Please Lord help me get home today

 Dear Lord can you hear me, and please would you listen
 I left her alone God she loved me so well
 But I loved the bottle and I drowned my ambitions
 Please say when it's over I'm not going to Hell
 Please say I'm not going to Hell


Can I Love You Anyway

 All my tools of love have gone to rust
 Sweet words, like old wine have turned too sour
 Arms too used to emptiness to hold
 Clock of life gone past it's finest hour
 Tongue no longer sure of what to say
 Words that flashed bright in the flush of youth
 Stick and sputter in the here, today
 Fumble for, and gush out with the truth
 I'd like to love you's what I need to say
 I want to need you, need you every way
 Have to have you foreward from this day
 Love tired, but can I love you anyway



She Grinds On

 She grinds on in the night, she grinds on
 She does it from midnight to dawn
 With Jimmy, or Rick, I don't see
 I wait for the times it's with me
 And it's always that same ancient stud
 That will start up the boil of her blood
 And it's always that same ancient face
 Of the rest she can see not a trace
 And it's always that same old lost love
 That she sees sweating there, up above
 So she grinds in the night, she grinds on
 Like a phonograph someone left on
 From a million odd miles away
 With a past that has come back to stay


Fears

 We can fear most anything, a spider, bees, the dark
 Some people seem to be afraid to let love make it's mark
 They stumble blindly through their lives, confusion often reigns
 We try as hard as we can try, and can't control our brains
 The right lines never come on time, our tongues are stilled by fear
 In haste to fill a pause we can destroy what we hold dear
 We fear ourselves and hide away, too shy to take a chance
 You'll never make a miss-step if you never try to dance
 So too you'll never waltz the night in someone's hot embrace
 There's no one who will notice you if you stay in your place
 So take the chance, get up and dance, let life's heart beat come through
 Just don't be blind, within your mind your greatest fears are you



Souls

 The priest lies broken on the couch, his efforts burst his heart
 A smile on his dying face because he's done his part
 The doberman just stands and wails, the flames dance off his back
 Collar spikes gleam evil 'gainst his coat, all glossy black
 The mother voices prayers of thanks, her daughter's mind is free
 I watch, a soul cast loose in time, and suddenly I see
 That mother, child, the priest, the dog, what e're we are today
 It's just a part we have to act, a role within a play
 We sometimes will draw happy lines and play our parts with glee
 Then find ourselves with bitter scripts, and cry "Oh Lord, why me"?
 Then to the wings we go to wait until the master calls
 Not knowing how next time we're cast, or when the curtain falls


Cycles

 Hours you've spent just sitting there all at the deathbed's side
 Just waiting for the words you dread, the doctor says she's died
 The tears start rolling from your eyes, old mem'ries fill your brain
 A piece of life gone from this Earth, a soul set free from pain
 Now are those tears there really for the one who's from us gone
 Or are they tears of loneliness for we who must go on
 To walk the emptiness of life without a loved one's face
 To live each day of missing out, to finish off the race
 Perhaps though, we should look at death as going through a door
 Assured a place is made for us by those who go before
 Yes one day we shall join them all, our friends who've gone ahead
 And know that back here someone weeps that we should now be dead


Numbers

 We can guess what the plural of grouse is
 With a mouse and some more we have mice
 When we build us some homes we have houses
 And a whole bunch of nurses is nice

 Birds all flock to the South in cold weather
 And an elephant herd is quite neat
 All the geese are a gaggle together
 The cute girls in bikinis a treat

 Well, they say there is safety in numbers
 Uniting can help you to weather
 So now politicians and bankers
 Are all going to pieces together


The Last Rose

 In autumn as the frost sets in and fires begin to burn
 The birds are gone, the harvest in, no leaves still left to turn
 The wind brings dust and bits of grass, it ever colder blows
 Then like a miracle there blooms out in my yard, a rose 

 I've seen love in the coltish youths so awkward, set to fly
 Seen love in those who only thought to give it one last try
 Then beautiful with silver hair the faces bloomed with joy
 The love on people touched with age, no need left to be coy

 The rose won't last long in the frost beside the garden gate
 The ancients walking, clasping hands will soon succumb to fate
 But are they less or more for that, the late bloomed love and rose
 I just know that they're beautiful, and each sad when it goes


The Hound of Basketville

 The little hound of basketville's my little beagle there
 Beside the wood box curled up without a worldly care
 He's something like his grandma's markings, yips just like his dad
 He curls his tail just like the first so long ago I had
 I guess it ain't no pedegree this bloodline that I kept
 That hunted with me through the years, and guarded while I slept
 I remember back there when that walker hound crept in
 Them beagle puppies didn't look a whole lot like their kin
 But through the years the breed came back and still is dear to me
 Though I don't hunt too much no more, responsibility
 But this young pup reminds of the good old days we'll share
 By lying by the stove with tail tucked under, not a care


Your Town

 I have walked the streets of your town since before your folks were born
 I know every crack and every shady place
 The day you started school, I was there that sunny morn
 Then I saw the times you went home in disgrace
 When you threw those stones to hurt me I cried out some tears for you
 When you triumphed on the playing field I smiled
 I have watched you as your body grew and interests changed around
 As you left behind the past times of a child
 Well, you got into the drinking, and you cursed me out a bit
 You cursed anything you didn't understand
 No different than a million others I've been watching too
 That have walked these streets, these towns, throughout this land
 And you loved me as a child, you forgot me as you grew
 Now your hair is grey you turn to me once more
 As you walk the streets of loneliness with time upon your hands
 And you wonder what the future holds in store
 What I said that day so long ago is true this very day
 What is done to any brother's done to me
 But ask forgiveness and it's yours there is no need to fear
 Just tell the truth and it will set you free


Guaffle 

 So you fuffled with the madman and his octus eeking dreams
 And you thought to thlock the balfus in your perfled little schemes
 Well, your sahndies are decaying like your mirf filled little brain
 Now your derf defloded blurches are all headed down the drain

 I have tasted of your grunties and your waft decocted waips
 Seen the pictures of your moumows where you splinked behind the drapes
 There your tossed wide open flirshpa was for everyone to see
 May the doofers take your crammel 'cause I'm sure they won't take me

 In my wanders through the Untas I have seen the flirshpas best
 Here the moumows I've collected are the finest in the west
 All my sahndies, waips, and blurches are the very best of all
 It's because I shop for quality, yes, I shop Quinte mall


This Wall

 There's a wall that keeps me prisoner that I don't understand
 When I reach out to feel I can't touch it with my hand
 So, confident I take a step, then bang, it knocks me flat
 As if to say, "Hey foolish one, you know you can't have that."
 This wall that keeps me penned in fear, I'm told it's for my good
 For I don't know so many things I thought I understood
 This wall that breaks and bruises me, that stands so high above
 This wall, this wall that's killing me, you call this wall your love
 I fear that like a ton of bricks upon me it will fall
 If I don't rise above it soon, how can I flee this wall?


Dad I

 Dad I found this worm you see
 You know that I've been wishin'
 That you could spend some time with me
 You'd maybe take me fishin'
 Another time, I understand
 Someday the time will come
 I'll just bake some cookies, play
 Some checkers with my mom
 Dad I got this ball you see
 Just found it on the ground
 I wonder if you have the time
 For throwing it around
 Oh, yes, reports and sales sheets
 Sure Dad, I understand
 I'll just toss the ball myself
 Try not to let it land
 Dad I see you're feeble now
 The business wrote you off
 Can't drive, the eyesight's getting dim
 Sure is a nasty cough
 You wish that I would drop on by
 Just reminisce a spell
 Dad, I would, but what to say
 I don't know you that well


Summer to the Fields

 As the spring rolls up the snow banks and ice flows from the ponds
 As the tappers steal the syrup from the trees
 I can sense the sap is rising in more than the branches there
 From excited shouts that carry on the breeze
 As the robins peck in hopefulness at barely melted ground
 From hunger for the spring's first chilly worms
 The boys are out there in the mud to moose a bit around
 Still coughing from the winter's crop of germs
 But soon the birds will come in force, and people to the stands
 For different kinds of joy this meadow yeilds
 So they'll take turns as always here and all across these lands
 When summer breeze blows baseball to the fields


Sun Sonnet

 Can we stroll through the countryside again
 Pick wild flowers as we used to do
 This cold is settling heavy in my brain
 Once more I'd walk the dappled lanes with you
 Light linen and canteen of iced tea
 The rhapsody of tree frogs from the hills
 Sail dewy seas like old again with me
 Away from these harsh bitter winter chills

 Please mother, tell me this is over soon
 Once more we'll walk beneath the hazy moon

 My child, my child you don't know patience yet
 Of course the spring will settle on the hills
 The mist of green will rise up through the brown
 The barn owl swooping will give out his thrills
 The evergreen gum scent will fill the air
 The frogs will sing their orchestrated themes
 With dandylion floaters in your hair
 These jittery cold days will be as dreams

 But tuck in well my child still tonight
 The end of winter yet is not in sight


Lament

 Earth, embrace and caress me, my lover is dead
 Stones make me a pillow, a place for my head
 Sun, close up your eye, gentle sky weep your rain
 Raise up unseen flowers, deeply scarlet for pain

 Sweet soil of the graveyard my love is a part
 Seep ye into my veins and find peace in my heart
 You embracer of millions my soul cries to you
 'Cause my love's in your arms I'd as lief be there too

 I will drink to your kindness this sweet bitter kiss
 With my love gone before me there's naught here I'll miss
 No hope left in living, no tear left to cry
 My love soars eternal, enraptured I die

 I go seeking love now, I flee to my grave
 Old heart still your beating, be silent and brave
 Lost soul seek your mate out, to flesh say good-bye
 It was with her and for her I lived, I do die


Dancing on the Wire


 We walk the wire of balance in between
 The normal life and gross depravity
 Angels, demons, left and right are seen
 At least that is the way it looks to me
 Now what is real, what is just illusion
 Never walked before, it's hard to tell
 I'm young, I play, I'm walking in confusion
 Leave the wire, falling, life is Hell
 Reach and catch the wire with one hand
 Some are lucky have a safety net
 Loving folks who care and understand
 Some do not and they are falling yet
 Some hit bottom falling very fast
 Die so young it seems they had no chance
 But ask of him whose life is in the past
 Not how long, rather how well did he dance


Farewell To A Son

 The novelty of these four walls is wearing oh so thin
 I fear that I must leave here very soon
 Embrace of love that thrilled me chills me, games that I can't win
 No longer am I dancing to a tune
 An inmate in a cage that I constructed, would tear down
 Imprisoned by confusion, staring wild
 I rejoice in thoughts of leaving, I astonish me
 More than I do you I think my child
 The day that greets me every morning scares me, I'm so lost
 My mind seems not my mind now any more
 Just fits and starts, and bits and parts, a speck of flotsam tossed
 Now drifting, lost at sea forever more
 So take me to a quiet place and put me in the care
 Of strangers who do not know what I've done
 Don't watch me as I drool, babble, waddle, stumble, stare
 It won't be me, I'm mostly gone, my son
 Remember me from happy times, the holidays of fun
 Don't visit with this thing that makes you cry
 Then when my years have ended and this troubled time is done
 Just one more visit as you say goodbye


Runaway

You ran away from home last week
They brought you back today
And If you knew what someone'd done
I wonder what you'd say
You were the one for speaking out
What did you keep inside
To push you from your home, and then
To lead you where you died
What of the dreams that went with you
Are they just nowhere now
They're here, still lurking, once so good
They only cause pain now
A mom, then not, you can't console
No thing that one can do
You ran away from home last week
And took so much with you
Babe, if it was a statement, well
I don't know what you mean
I'd always hoped to be around 
When you turned sweet sixteen
You ran away from home last week
This week so much has changed
They brought you, lifeless, back today
Your funeral's been arranged




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