Poems by Larry Tilander

Seasons | I Never Knew, The Lies | Castles to the King | Hockey, Roy Youngs' Field | Home | Full Moon at the Nut Hatch | Separation Sonnet | Devourer | Cyberstorm | Down In The Mine | Backyard of My Mind | My Girl, My World | Lifetime Journey | Honesty Soliloquy | Fabric of the Night | On The Edge of Everything |

Seasons


 On a frozen autumn evening sits an old man at the gate
 With staring eyes not seeing if it's early, or it's late
 A smile lights his wrinkled face, his map of pleasure's pain
 Reflecting joys behind in life, oh never more again

 A sad eyed youth goes cursing by, lamenting summer's end
 The ancient wheezes mightily, "I pity you my friend"
 Then down he lies, still smilingly, and happily he dies
 With summer in his slack jawed smile, and spring in vacant eyes



I Never Knew, The Lies


 You have to know, I never knew
 'Cause you taught me to look past you
 You covered up and lied with shame
 You played his rotten little game
 The glasses, sleeves, I thought mystique
 I maybe should have forced a peek
 I would have helped in any way
 Just like I will right now, today
 Now all those years of that disguise
 Because you listened to the lies
 Are over, you begin to heal
 Now slowly, you learn how to feel
 And know, you never were alone
 You could have used the telephone
 You could have left there any day
 Despite the things he had to say
 The lies made you feel feel useless there
 The lies that said no one would care
 The lies that said it was your fault
 The lies, that you're not worth your salt
 The lies, you're making me do this
 The lies, I'm sorry, can we kiss
 If someone talks like this to you
 Again, you'll know that it's not true
 Now you, with those sad frightened eyes
 Must tell the world about the lies
 Forever pass it, friend to friend
 Until the day we finally end
 The lies





Castles to the King


 The kids down at the boardwalk knew him, we all called him gramps
 Been there forever far as we all knew
 See everyone respected him he was king of the tramps
 And in his veins the royal blood ran blue
 The kids would bring him stuff down there their moms had packed for lunch
 A peanut butter sandwich, tangerine
 No matter what you give him he would tell you, "Thanks a bunch."
 Then give a wink, like something was obscene
 The stories that that man would tell would keep you mesmerised
 Of far off days of riding on the rails
 Of war, the ships he worked upon, the fire from the skies
 The decks all icy in the winter gales
 He'd stop to honk his bulby nose on some old faded scrap
 I don't know why, he called his nose his beak
 Then when he'd put his rag away and settled back his cap
 We'd all lean forward, wait for him to speak
 I don't think that I ever heard him tell a story twice
 Or heard him falter as he told his tales
 Of Birmingham and Baghdad and the polar sea in ice
 By ship and car and mostly midnight rails
 He'd take a nip or two sometimes and speak of loves he missed
 Then tears would slip from 'round his ancient eyes
 As he relived the moments when those far off lips were kissed
 Carressed the breasts and parted long lost thighs
 Sometimes his voice would trail off, his eyes would go right blank
 You'd think his systems were about to fail
 And then he'd ask like it was some big mystic solemn prank
 "Has anybody got got a coffin nail?"
 Somebody'd light him up a butt, and no one'd make a sound
 'Cause there was only one thing made him smoke
 It's when he talked of old friends that he'd laid beneath the ground
 And when he spoke it's like their spirits woke
 Then he would make us promise that we'd stop and speak of him
 When he was gone to seek eternal peace
 We'd tell him that we surely would, again his eyes would brim
 With grateful tears he wanted to release
 One night a wild storm blew through and swept away the dock
 The king was usually known to sleep below
 We never told no one about it, never let a squawk
 'Cause that's the way the king would rather go
 They made a sissy park down there with mini golf and crap
 The babies play with Tonka toys and sing
 Sometimes we get a little high as we sit 'round and rap
 Then raise up some sand castles to the king






Hockey, Roy Youngs' Field


 

 We used to go down in Roy Youngs' field
 Crawl through the old barbed wire
 Break a bunch of branches off a windfall tree
 Build a cheery little fire
 Who would care if the goal posts list a bit
 Or the goal is kinda small
 We were kids and we were happy playin' stars
 God, but we could have a ball
 The paper made the padding for the rubber boots
 That the goalie wore to save his shins
 Slippin' and a slidin', blood on the ice
 Happy little gap toothed grins
 Sometimes it seems there ain't no decency no more
 I can feel goodness start to yield
 Then I see a kid that's crawlin' through the old barbed wire
 To the pond in Roy Youngs' field



Home


 

 A place where the world can't touch you
 A corner that's safe, where it's warm
 A shelter that that stands like a beacon
 Will never fall prey to the storm
 As she waits in the darkness she trembles
 For some time he will walk through that door
 Though all day she tried hard to be, "Good girl."
 She still knows he's gonna be sore
 Like a throw away product he'll use her
 He will leave a few marks on her skin
 He will tell her once more that she's useless
 That she's lucky that he took her in
 Then he'll snore while she lies scarcely breathing
 In the darkness her thoughts free to roam
 From this corner of Hell that she lives in
 It's a house, but was never a home
 So she dreams 'tween the dreams and waking
 Of a day when there won't be this storm
 Of this hate where the love should be coming
 Where she's finally home, safe and warm





Full Moon at the Nut Hatch

 
 It's a full moon at the nut hatch and they're howlin' up a storm
 The believers doing Creole magic chants
 Kudos to the spirits sung in voices soft and warm
 Mr. Jones has made a turban of his pants
 The piano tinkles madly as a dozen patients play
 Mr. Klienstuber is drumming on a pail
 Apocalypse tomorrow's what the crazy psychics say
 All the micro chippy whatchacallits fail
 Bill Ladd is playing Frankenstein, he lurches up the hall
 He meets Napoleon and goes for tea
 And Carl sighs, and William cries, and Eric paints the wall
 With pictures of some cows under a tree
 The TV blares like madness with that wailing MTV
 As the inmates shuffle wildy to the sound
 Now it's time for medications and it's soon they'll sleepy be
 'Til it starts again when morning rolls around




Separation Sonnet
 

 Thy leaving cuts a fissure through my heart
 My thoughts confuse me, leaving me in fear
 How long is this eternity apart
 Too long if it were but a second dear
 This irksome mind just worries like a dog
 Contentious bone of thy return to me
 The river of my life stagnates, a bog
 A nowhere going pool of misery

 I'd abdicate my life to be with you
 Walk into Hell to stand there at your side
 Off o're the highest peaks my love fly true
 Through deepest dark, my heart my only guide
 There's nothing that would keep us, love, apart
 Just crook your finger, beckon to my heart



Devourer
 

 For long, so long, while you devoured me
 I bled, and stood, and I empowered you
 My frightened eyes have opened and I see
 That nothing that you ever said was true
 You said that you were sorry, pain would halt
 Then every day you brought me more and more
 You told me that this hurt was all my fault
 Then sought out better ways to leave me sore
 You told me I was worthless, well I'm not
 I'm worth the same as anyone on Earth
 I'm taking up the right I have to peace
 The right that I have had right since my birth
 And when I'm gone to take up better ways
 Then all the world will see that this is true
 That you were powerless except for me
 And all the ways that I empowered you
 So rage and threaten, tell another lie
 You shake your fist and scream in rage at me
 I'm leaving now, forever, it's good-bye
 Devour yourself in your own misery
 Your threats are lies, now finally this I see
 Like all the other lies you told, I'm free





Cyberstorm


  Meet me in back of the CPU, the fan there will keep us cool
 Then I'll teach you a thing or two you didn't learn in school
 Follow me down to the hard drive now, spin with me on the wheel
 No text or pretext, graphically, show me how you feel
 Chat with me over the copper lines, caressing you through the wires
 Sweating and moaning in cyber space, feel what your lust desires
 Mate with me up in the atmosphere, in a microwave relay high
 Thrust with the megahertz urgency, way up in a Windows sky
 Live with me long in an endless loop, digitally enhanced
 Boot me up now with a longing look, stay with me in my trance
 Lay with me sated in desktop dreams, our bedroom in cyber town
 Sweated and sated and kissed goodnight it's safe for us to shut down




Down In The Mine


There's a shut down old mine shaft near Kingston
On highway, on way out to Bath
And on weekends the people come tour it
It just costs a buck and a half
And it's said that there's still precious metals
But that mine shaft was no place for wimps
Afraid of the creaking and groaning
Though often they would get a glimpse
Well Mr.and Mrs. Charbonneau
Were looking for something to do
They heard of the mine, and the metals
They went, and they took Johnny too
Well Johnny, he hadn't been potty
Before they set out on the trip
And down in the mine shaft he had to
Of course he just let it all rip
The smell in the shaft getting stronger
His mom took him off to the side
She pulled off the soiled undergarment
Said, "John, now this thing you must hide.
The "DANGEROUS SHAFT" sign, he missed it
Went plumeting down like a stone
A good thing he landed in water
Or else he'd of broke every bone
In meantime the folks were all searching
Oh where can that little waif be
Three stories below he was bathing
Unmindfull of falling debris
Now finally he was the cleanest
He'd ever been, there was no doubt
He wanted to climb up the mineshaft
He wanted mom, HE WANTED OUT
His pawing dislodged something pretty
His saw in his hard hat head light
Which like any other small fellow
He tucked in his pocket, from sight
Well people, his pawing and scrabbling
They dislodged a rock from the side
The water, it rose like a lift now
And Johnny went up on the ride
The rescue man leaning down over
Just looking, not wearing his cap
Met Johnny there all of a sudden
Like skull bone to helmet, ker whap
So Mrs. Charbonneau grabbed Johnny
The rescue crew picked up their man
And everyone exited happy
Except for the mine owning man
A week later doing the laundry
And checking her son's pockets fold
Old Mrs. C soiled her own drawers
When she pulled out five pounds of gold




Backyard of My Mind
 

I weeded out the backyard of my mind
That hollow haunted playground of my past
Some curious old keepsakes I did find
I thought by now into the void they're cast
They held me like a trance, those memories
So long I've walked, so far I've come to roam
From country lanes and giant Maple trees
Into this heap of concrete I call home
I scrawl a poem, try to hold the thought
Demands of everyday tear it away
Sometimes it seems those shades are all we've got
So into those old forts we run to play


It seems until too late we forget play
If only in those playgrounds we could stay




My Girl, My World
 

Small nest of ermine soft soft hair of platinum pure blonde
Slick fold of carmine cavern flesh, so eager you respond
These dingy motel walls of stained and scribbled hunter green
Imagination transforms to a sunny jungle scene
Sweet taste of springing liquid rush my love, revealed truth
'Tis here, 'tis now, 'tis mine at last, this fountain yours, of youth
These firm white mounds, unblemished flesh are my own heavenscape
These valleys of pure ecstacy, the way your long limbs drape
I run and caper, dance and twirl 'neath skies of your eyes blue
My girl, my world, truth now unfurled, my universe is you




Lifetime Journey
 

Little toddler
Where you going
Lifetime journey
Time and space
Deluxe hotels
Drab apartments
Good luck to you
Run your race
Take my memories
My desires
Take my hopes and
Carry me
To the future
My sweet baby
Through your lifetime
Carry me




Honesty Soliloquy
 

A tendency to honesty
Occurs in people naturally
The least of folks will know that this is true
And life would be lived easily
I'm sure that you must quick agree
Without the priests around to make us blue
If only we would stop and see
The truth will set and keep us free
Toward the honest life we all should strive
From China to Schnenectady
In desert or on deepest see
Just think, if we could trust each man alive




Fabric of the Night
 

Dawn's thorns rip the fabric of the night
Tear at tender skin of newborn love
Blemishes revealed in glaring light
Dark come back, enfold us like a glove
Beach of sand is rubbed from love shot eyes
Mists of passion burned away too soon
Silencing impassioned night time cries
Screamed beneath the silver gaze of moon
Will the night's silk return quick and save
This orchid, oh so shy of light of day
Politeness falls as we try to be brave
We whisper to ourselves that it's okay


Come back, come back oh moon, the orb we trust
Return and change this fragile love for lust




On The Edge of Everything
 

The prostitute from Wichita is chatting up the cop
that joined the force down here just yesterday
They say he had some trouble with a little bit of graft
they canned his ass, no work in Monterey
He's staring at the duck blind where the rubbies gather now
to drink the brand of squeezings of the night
They burrow in together like a bunch of new born pups
they huddle up for warmth so nice and tight
The highway bleeds it's tail light hemophiliac red glow
the money's heading homeward in the dark
The garbage cans all beckon with their appetizing smells
the zombie bums come stumbling to the park
The cop and hooker went inside about an hour ago
I wonder just who's teaching what to who
The people of the street are ruling, nowhere's out of bounds
but hey there buddy, that ain't nothing new
That midget fortune teller Zelda pedals slowly by
her bicycle a crazy shade of pink
Across the street she goes her perfumed hanky to her nose
trying to avoid the duck blind's stink
The world of straights is closing down, the other one fires up
the zany, crazy circus of the street
Getting high and getting off, avoiding getting caught
they crawl from where they hide from all the heat
My love and I come creeping from our hidden little cave
beneath the ruined house that is our flop
And head down to the diner where she slings while I dive pearls
We talk about the day it's gonna stop
We're saving up our money, gonna buy a little house
no more fly by nights or crazy schemes
Like everybody else in this here crazy coastal town
we're living on the edge, and on our dreams





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