Merry Christmas from MFFLRR 2004

Lady Thistlegown's

Papers of Society

December 23

Well, this Christmas has brought a flurry of activity to Town, celebrating the Yule season with fete, rout, ball, and I might say, crushes of all size and color (though the colors seemed to be most unoriginally red and green). Dear Reader, there was one event of note in which you will be interested. It was an event of a most odd nature, no matter how romantic it should have been. Your humble servant is not even quite sure how she was able to attend, but be that as it may…

The setting at the Plaza Hotel in New York City, New York State, America, was quite respectable, if a little too modern. The room was artfully arranged with the spirit of the holiday season. It was quite a mélange of guests, and it seemed as though few knew more than one other person attending. Oddly enough, no one was quite sure who was acting as the evening's host.

Everyone seemed to have a pleasant evening, with the exception of a few standing in corners with scowls, or those wearing expressions of bewilderment. The refreshments were quite lovely, but there was this odd little woman dressed as a Christmas elf, one who goes by the unique name of "Simi". Miss Simi was continuously asking for something called "Barbeque Sauce". Her escort for the evening, one Acheron Parthenopaeus - a Mediterranean, I can only suppose- seemed to have her in hand for most of the event. Two gentlemen- both unknowns- a Max Holt and one by the title of Roarke (I know not where his district is, but he seemed to be the Lord of New York), were having an in-depth conversation about automatons called "computers". They seemed to be discussing the legal boundaries to which these computers should be held.

Roarke's companion, Mrs. Dallas, seems to be a Bow Street Runner from New York. Imagine, a woman as a Bow Street Runner! Alas, this Mrs. Dallas- poor woman- spent far too much time in conversation with Miss Bridget Jones, lately of London.

Miss Jones' escort, Mark Darcy- a barrister from London, looked terribly confused when introduced to our own Fitzwilliam Darcy & his wife, Elizabeth. I am unsure if there is a familial relation, but the likeness between the two Mr. Darcys was quite remarkable. I do believe that dear Elizabeth seemed to enjoy the confusion far too much!

It was good to see most of the Bridgerton family in attendance, but when they encountered the MacGregor Clan and the Sherbrookes, the room was positively filled to the rafters!

The Cravens were in attendance, although Mr. Derek Craven seemed to hover around the corners of the room; that is, until he attempted to get Lord Roarke and Mr. Holt into a game of cards. Apparently these two gentlemen do not play (though they had the look of sharps!), as Mr Craven's offer of a deep game of Whist was refused, but with friendly smiles. They seemed to like Mr. Craven, as they promptly offered him a special drink, called a "froo-froo", complete with parasol. Mr. Craven was not amused. However, Mr. Tobias March, standing nearby, seemed to be enjoying the intercourse.

All the while, Mrs. Craven (shall we call her Sarah?), and Miss Lavinia Lake chatted with Miss Jamie Swift, Mr. Holt's companion. I can hardly tell you, but the conversation often drifted towards "unmentionables"! While Sarah & Miss Lavinia looked lovely in their formal attire, they began to appear more and more disturbed as the conversation became more involved; so disturbed that they began tugging at their bodices… and at one point I thought that Miss Holt would begin pulling down her décolletage! Fortunately- though Miss Lake was aware that this fete was odd- she also recognized that there were still societal boundaries one should not cross, and was able to avert an unseemly event.

I'm uncertain as to the content of the conversation between Mr. Acheron Parthenopaeus and a modern troubadour by the name of Dayan, with his companion Corrinne. I must admit, by the looks of them, I'm sure I don't want to know! Of course, it was also difficult to discern their facial expressions, as they all seemed to be wearing some sort of sun shades for their eyes. Dayan had earlier been providing what some would call musical entertainment while accompanied by another guest, Miss Mavis Freestone. Dear Reader, what a cacophony it was! I was all too pleased when these guests completed their performance and a small string ensemble began playing seasonal music.

Unfortunately, while Mr. Parthenopaeus was conversing, his young companion, Miss Simi, seemed to continuously find some sort of mischief. This behavior was even encouraged by one of the Plaza Hotel's residents, a Miss Eloise. As Miss Simi and this young girl flew past me, all I could hear was "I am six. I am a city child" and a comment about "hornays" (whatever they might be!). It goes without saying, but Miss Eloise needs a Nanny for supervision!

Dear Reader, I would like to wish for you and yours the joyous blessings of the Holiday Season. May love find you wherever you are! For Lady Thistlegown will be watching- whether at Almack's or at a Smythe-Smith musicale- ready to report to the ton!

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By Teresa Mercier, edited by Kristin Kroeker

We at MFFLRR have enjoyed the many characters the authors have created. We

would like to thank all of you for allowing us to mention your characters in this parody

of Julia Quinn's wonderful Lady Whistledown. Thank you!

Simi & Acheron Parthenopaeus from Sherrilyn Kenyon's Dark Hunter series; Max Holt and Jamie Swift from Janet Evanovich's Full Tilt series; Roarke, Eve Dallas, and Mavis Freestone from JD Robb's In Death series; Bridget Jones & Mark Darcy from Helen Fielding's Bridget Jones' Diary and Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason; Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth Darcy from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice; The Bridgertons from Julia Quinn's Bridgerton Series; The MacGregor's from Nora's MacGregor Series; The Sherbrookes from Catherine Coulter's Sherbrooke Series; Derek and Sarah Craven from Lisa Kleypas' Dreaming of You; Tobias March and Lavinia Lake from Amanda Quick's Slightly Shady series; Dayan and Corrinne from Christine Feehan's Carpathian Series; and Eloise from Kay Thompson's Eloise series

And many thanks to the Plaza Hotel for arranging the party!